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my dreams 326

Will I be the first Singaporean tubist to study in Yong Siew Toh Conservatory?

Blogged @ 2:08 PM `

my dreams 325

It's really time to decide. Should i leave? Now I've got a place to study. What will my future be like after 3 to 4 years of education? Been thinking about it. Let me weigh them, shall I?

Reasons to Stay:
1. Stable Income
2. Being able to play in a good band
3. Low cost of living
4. Multiple income
5. I may not cut out to be a conductor, thus, stay lor..

Reasons to leave:
1. I have a chance of earning much more.
2. I'll have more time to myself, compared to wasting time doing nothing.
3. I can teach and conduct more
4. I won't waste my time dealing with people who don't want to improve
5. I want to go further. A teacher, a lecturer, or a professor!

Each have their pros and cons. Will a civil service job guarantee a bright future for me? Will leaving means a better future for me then? Give me your advices...

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 3:18 AM `

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Dear Flower,

I'm writing to you in this post is just to warn you of a potential danger ahead. You are a nice and sweet looking flower. But you have a name for yourself too. Poison Ivy, that's it. So, should i start calling you Ivy? Or do you prefer flower? Well then, i shall continue calling you flower. Do you know what will you do to people who touched you? You cause severe itching that develops into reddish colored inflammation or non-colored bumps, and then blistering.

You are powerful, you affect people. But, there are still 15% of people who will not have any effected when contacted by you. And these people who are immune to you are being seen as your enemies, whom you cannot affect, and thus you think they post a threat to you. They don't stand by you.

Flower, what I'm trying to say, is stop expecting what you've always expected. People don't stand by popular beliefs anymore. They stand by reasons now. And not just baseless arguments. But reasons from an open heart, from logic, from the mind. Stop being in your own world and expect people to stand by you. Because one day, you'll find no one by your side other than yourself. If a person cannot open up his heart, it just means he don't have one. If he can't use his mind, he doesn't have one either. I know you have. So please use it. Stop being a poisonous flower.. be a big tree to shelter animals and plants. Be a big tree with a big heart, who thinks for others. We are no longer living in a world where just caring for ourselves means a safe heaven for us. One chopstick cannot live without the other. A tree cannot be a forest without other trees.

Why do people whom you expect to stand by your side end up being on the other side? Why do people who were with you when u were down are not with you now? Is it you or is it them? Think about it. What have you done? Are you living well now? But where are your so called good friends? Those who stood by you when you were down and out? Did you threw them aside? Did you gave them names you shouldn't have given? Did you just think for yourself? And are you going to think more for yourself now? It's a deep deep end, flower.. I'm warning you.

Think about it.. because what people need to do now to get rid of you, is just to use a pair of scissors to cut off your roots..

You may not know it.. it may just be your character. But knowing it now is your first step to success. And i hope by now, u know who you are, Poison Ivy.. You are still my friend..

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 12:44 AM `

my dreams 323

How things changes... one door closes, the other opens!

4 days of torture finally came to an end. Learnt so much during this masterclass and of course making new friends! Oh ya, i conducted my first orchestra! I guess i didn't do too badly. Shall upload the photos and videos soon!

Secondly, Mr Richard Adams gave me a place in NAFA to study music! Straight after my audition, he told me, "You don't have to wait for the audition results. I tell u now, i'm going to offer u a place!"

Haha! Well, 3 years ago i would've said that i'm living my dream. Ok, no doubt i am. But it's just the beginning of a new chapter in life. I will be successful, i promise.. because i'm not going to let myself down now. Not after coming so far... Money may be a problem to me now. 16.5k for the diploma. I may end up eating grass! But well, things happen for a reason.. =)

Makers of Music, Dreamers of dream
Believers of destiny, Responders to Calling.

"Be what you want to be, do what you want to do, go where you want to go. Your dreams are your destiny."

Does this sound familiar? =)

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 11:55 PM `

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Julian has finally fallen...

1. I didn't get scholarship

2. 3 days of grilling from the masterclass has got me down and out. Demoralised. Am i cut out to be a conductor?

3. Dad's health....

I'm tired... really really tired... I need a break...

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 12:57 AM `

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2nd day of conducting masterclass with Darrell Ang. I've really learnt alot for the past 2 days. Though it has been long days for me, ( Woke up at 6.30m, finished work at 5.30 and chiong to masterclass at 7, reached home at midnight), I am still enjoying! My first time doing orchestral pieces like Beethoven's Coriolan Overture, Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto and Wagner's Siegfried. Two words to describe, "BREATH TAKING"! Oh my god, i just don't want this to end. 2 more days though! Exciting week for me so far! I do admit i felt really demoralised in the masterclass. It's part of learning, it's part of growing.. a lousy conductor i may be, to give up i will not!

Peeps, do come support me on Friday, 23rd January alright? It's at NAFA's Lee foundation Theatre, Campus 3. 7.30pm! It's free!

Also, tomorrow's my bandmaster audition. Going London or not, depends on tomorrow. smile, everyone!

Till then...

PS: Chinese proverb: all high buildings were built from a flat ground...

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 12:28 AM `

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After having my first tuba lesson with Fujita sensei, I really felt I can go further. A lot further. Been having this stagnant feeling for a long time. Glad I've met such a demanding teacher. It's not cheap to have lesson with him though. So i guess i have to save up more now! He is an inspirational teacher. With lots of music in his heart. And he told me, if i work hard.. (5 hours a day of practice), I can make it to SSO. Haha! What a dream..

Being able to conduct Springfield alumni band is no doubt an honour. Seriously, i rather conduct them for free than getting paid to conduct a school band with no interested members. Because they want to play, simple as that. =)

That being said.. next week will be a very exciting week. Another important chapter of my life may just start there. Conducting masterclass with Darrell Ang, Bandmaster Selection, tutoring of my first school this year. (sorry better not to name schools here!) Oh man!

PS: Pebbles of my life has been properly laid. Looking back, it's a beauty so far...

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 1:18 PM `

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Did i blog about my grade 8 theory exam on the 4th November? The day my car broke down? I still remember it very clearly. Anyways, I went to take my grade 8 music theory exam (my last), due to me not wanting to waste the money which I've paid for. And without any preparation, i just went. My theory teacher went MIA after the Canada trip so we had to self study. And yes, i almost gave up the paper. Did it anyway, anyhow. Haha.. And i PASSED! 70/100.. And I'm really pleased with myself for not going with the flow. Most of my colleague gave up and did not went for the paper. Moral of the story: never give up!

I've done with what i wanted to do here.. it's really time to move on. To higher ground, to up most height! Oh man.. that sounds so TPJC again!

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 8:41 PM `

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Finally i know I'm not grabbing at everything which comes my way. Probably because of Operation JLHT, I'm more aware of my "abilities". This don't just apply to JLHT related stuffs. But more of my dream as well. After thinking about it.. and after what happened today. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not meant to be an officer. The life don't suites me. It does not fulfil what I've always wanted to do. Yes, university tuition is free, i get to go London. But then? I realised i still want to do education. That type of lifestyle I'm looking for. I still need more time to think about it. At least I'm glad I'm thinking... I'm searching for answers.

NAFA registration is done. I had a feeling that is the place i want to study in. Like the feeling i got when i first went to TPJC. Maybe.. and just maybe.. I'll end up doing my music degree there.

Meanwhile, due to project JLHT, I'm starting to feel I'm already a different person. =)

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 7:57 PM `

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Let talk about people in this post.

Before that, i shall share a quote with you. "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about other people."

But still, let me be the "small people" this time. What's with small people anyway? I've been called worst. "Hypocrites.... 2 headed snake..." I've heard them all.

I believe all human have their good and bad sides. Sometimes, trying to be good makes u look bad and trying to be bad, makes u look good. However u want to look at it. Sometimes, we just want to be ourselves; sometimes, we just want to show our better selves. And while trying to do it, we are all called hypocrites. What's really wrong with it? We do what we think we are suppose to do.. why be hidden among the crowd and follow the norm? Why do things which other people things is right, rather than what you thought is right?

It's all water under the bridge. We've all past our 21st. Why can't we embrace one another like we embrace ourselves? Why make such a difficult life out of it? Why? Why follow the norm?

Call me 2 headed snake if you want. Whatever it is. I'm not giving a damn about whatever nonsense you've came out with. I think what i did was right. And i am going to continue doing it. I have my principles, i have my values. No one's gonna change it. That's it..

On a lighter note, thanks ry and chestine for attending my performance! I think it's the best performance i have had so far!

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 7:44 PM `

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It's so so fast... Time flies isn't it?

21st January - Bandmaster Selection Exam
2nd Feb - NUS Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of music Audition

Been confirmed. I'm so so gonna rush for it. 3 more weeks. I don't know why, but I seem to be more excited about the YST's audition. Let's not talk about my chances now. Just get my hands dirty and work hard. And we'll see the results later!

It's my chance now... to realise my dreams...

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 7:13 PM `

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Ok, second post of the day. This was unexpected as i was reading through The New paper on Sunday, i came across a write up or whatever you call it about a young lady who fought her cervical cancer for the past 6 months before leaving this world 2 days before 2009. She blogged down her experiences in a very cheerful and determined manner. After reading all of her posts, i decided to share with everyone here: shandysim.blogspot.com

Compared to what she went through, life is so easy for me. I have to make the best out of it, instead of wasting my life away. It's hard to describe my feelings now. Shandy don't like her readers to be sad or cry about her ordeal. She gave hope and courage to everyone. How would i phrase it... i don't know. Go read it.. from the very first post, and you'll understand what i mean.

Always remember Mother Teresa's Thoughts on Life:

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."

~ Mother Teresa

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 9:04 AM `

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Finally i've managed to sleep on the "normal hours" again. But somehow, after about 4 to 5 hours, here i am, wide awake and unable to sleep anymore. Hope it gets better tonight!

You would have realised, I've been making double entry recently on my blog. I'm not sure why. Probably I've too much going in my mind like water flowing down from the falls. Ok, not so much.. let's say a tap. (what the lame!) When i woke up, i actually thought of having another double entry. But i forgot what i wanted to write. Ok, let's hope i can go on writing.

Made an enquiry with NAFA about the application. And i will be going down next week to make payments for my application fees. That sets me thinking. I have 3 places to go now. Where will i end up? Or will i end up with not even a single place offered to me? NAFA, NUS and London. Which one is the one i longed for? Which is the one i've wanted the most? I'm not sure. All 3 places got their pros and cons. And here am i, for the first time, is not sure of where i really want to go, what to do, and what to be. Music, for the first time, gave me so many options. But the indecisiveness of me is not really helping the situation. Ok, i think i got an idea. A rough idea of which is my preferred choice. Let me rank them.

1. London
2. NUS
3. NAFA

You may start thinking, "duh??". I don't just rank them in accordance to it's prestige. It's the time of the audition as well. Jan 21st will be for London, followed by early feb for NUS and march for NAFA. I think it makes a whole lot of sense now. Sometimes, writing helps you get yout thoughts going, isn't it?

I'm so lucky that concert with Douglas Bostok in Feb is cancelled. Don't get me wrong. He's a great conductor. A demanding one as well! But with so many things going on regarding my future is taking place in the first 3 months, not forgetting Operation JLHT, I just have to be glad right? Hopefully by end of this month i'll get my future sorted out. And continue my mission - to be a better man. =)
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My life has been all about music isn't it? SOmetimes i do wonder, other than music, do i even have a life outside of it? I know i've been slowing getting one. But what about a little while ago? Music and nothing but music. It's really damn unhealthy, isn't it? I'm starting to think about it now. What is the social life i want, the type of girl i'm looking for, and of course, the body i've long wanted to see in the mirror! (ok, that's soooo vain!) Now, to you, who is probably so bored till you got nothing to do but to read till here in this long entry of mine. What kind of life do you have besides the usual study-work routine? Tell me about it! I would really love to hear. Write on my tagboard. If you want to use a pen name, so be it. I just want to hear opinions and facts about people's life. Away from the mundane routine we are all doing now!

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 4:22 AM `

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Have you noticed that all the new year resolutions you've made over the years seldom materialise? I've just came up with a reason to it. We, as human love to procrastinate. And by March (3 months after we make our resolutions), we totally forget about it. And well, of course, nothing is accomplished. One main mistake we always make is, rather than making a plan, we made statements. A very good example:

1. I wanna lose 10kg
2. I wanna get a GF
3. I wanna earn more money

Just skeletons, no flesh, i would say. There are the "whats". But how about the "when" and "how"?

A better example.

"I wanna lose 10 kg by March. In order to do it, i shall jog 10km everyday, no fried stuffs. Stop making excuses by saying 'I'm tired' or 'let me rest for today'.."

See the plan in it? See the time line given? And see the excuses which that person must not make? There you go, a master plan!
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Ok, emo now. I just can't seem to change my body clock. (ok, excuses). When i told myself not to sleep in the day, i just dozed off after reading a book. Ha. Work year gonna start and I got to get back the habit of waking up early and sleeping early like real soon. 2 more days to switch back! Hope i can do it today, after 2 failed attempts.

As i said, i wanted to move out of my current self. Now i got a plan, and of course a facilitator, I'm off to my new journey! By saying this, it doesn't mean I'm going to give up my dream k? It's so near, and I'm reaching it!

Ok, back to the journey. This is a big project, a huge operation. This project is called Operation JLHT. I must complete it by Feb. I have to for a very obvious reason. Sorry, no more details shall be leaked. In the meantime, Operation JLHT has started!

Signing off,
Juls

Blogged @ 3:54 AM `